Friday, November 02, 2007

Feline delinquent attempts arson



Does this look like the face of a criminal?

Yep.

My cat Baci nearly burned down the friggin' building this week.

I went out for a few hours to a friends house and when I got home and opened the door to the building, I immediately smelled gas. When I walked into the apartment and entered the kitchen, I found a pan full of tomato sauce on the floor next to the stove and the right front burner nob turned all the way up, filling the kitchen with natural gas.

I launched into a tirade of profanity as I began to open windows and break out the fans to get the dangerous fumes out of the building. I knew it was Baci, because he'd lately taken to jumping on the stove on his way up to the top of the refrigerator. I wanted to choke that little cat, but first I had to alleviate the threat of an explosion. I had to move fast because at any moment a spark could have blown us all to kingdom come (and I half expected Baci to try and finish the job by lighting a cigarette or something).

Not only did he nearly kill us all, he spoiled the rest of the very lovely tomato sauce I'd made the day before. I was hungry and looking forward to eating it over some linguini.

That little fucker might have 9 lives, but I've only got one. So every morning I tape up the nobs on the stove before I leave the house.

3 comments:

H said...

That cat is gorgeous. You're telling me he tried to kill you? No way. =)

BadWims said...

He is a beautiful cat. And he's a character. When I say he's a feline delinquent, I mean it. If you tell him to get down from the table or somewhere, he'll actually sass back at you.

I love that little fucker...

Whiskeymarie said...

While it would be an effective way to off his parents, does Baci realize that his plan is flawed?
Or does he have a secret escape route that he'll use so he doesn't blow himself up too?